I have been friends with Kathy Alford since college. We now live in different states and although those states are side by side (Texas and Louisiana respectively), distance sometimes seems to be an obstacle. We decided that we would try to do an annual girl's trip. This means no hubbys (as much as we love them) or children (two legged or four legged as is the case for Kathy). For our first trip, we chose to do a three night Bahamas cruise the last weekend of February. It was a blast!
My wonderful husband, however, must have known that I would be somewhat nervous leaving him with our cute (but often times very willful) daughter. He created this time line of their weekend together. I'll warn you it's very detailed and long so read it when you have time. I had to share it as it captures the essence of what a funny man I married. I hope you laugh out loud as I did. This was his adventure while I was drinking fruity drinks with an umbrella in them. As the bartender told me, it wouldn't be vacation if it didn't have an umbrella.
My wonderful husband, however, must have known that I would be somewhat nervous leaving him with our cute (but often times very willful) daughter. He created this time line of their weekend together. I'll warn you it's very detailed and long so read it when you have time. I had to share it as it captures the essence of what a funny man I married. I hope you laugh out loud as I did. This was his adventure while I was drinking fruity drinks with an umbrella in them. As the bartender told me, it wouldn't be vacation if it didn't have an umbrella.
My time with Daddy while Mommy
went on her cruise to the Bahamas
– By Bailey Sharp
Friday, February 23, 2007
6:10pm – Daddy picked me up from School. It probably wouldn't have killed him to show up a little earlier. I got upset in the school late in the afternoon when Ms. Leah left our class and some weirdo stranger came in to replace her, but I played in the room across the hall and that helped. It was cookie Friday, so that always makes everything better.
6:35pm – Daddy and I got home with our pizza from EJ's. I really like pizza and ate almost an entire slice by myself. I believe we ordered the EJ's "classic". They should really think about including delivery in their business model, especially with the increased competition and market saturation in our area.
7:45pm – We went upstairs, read 2 books, and Daddy callously abandoned me in my bed. He's so mean when he tries to make me go to sleep. I am thinking of making an anonymous tip to child protective services, but I can never get Daddy to give me the real phone. He always says "no…no…." and then hands me my toy phone. Just like the way he and Mommy try and trick me with the remote control that doesn't work crap.
8:00pm - I think Daddy went back downstairs to watch the Rockets. I'm not sure why since they were losing to the Hawks on the road. C'mon Daddy….from what I saw, their perimeter defense was lacking, they were sloppy in transition, and T-Mac was the only player who brought his offensive game. I decided to scream at the top of my lungs to see if he would eventually recognize his responsibility to come sit with me until I fall asleep. I had been rubbing my eyes since 6:30, but sleep is bad, and I must try and fight it at all costs no matter what the personal sacrifice is. I think I heard Daddy saying bad words downstairs when he discovered Belle and Toby had been wrestling in the yard and Belle got "doggy poopy" all over her. Belle got a bath just like I do!! But back to the screaming.
8:25pm - After Belle's impromptu bath, I maintained my screaming at a very noticeable level, and it paid dividends. Daddy came back in my room. He tried to not actually pick me up and just comfort me, but I wasn't going to let him slide with that. He did eventually pick me up and I went to sleep on his shoulder. If he would just do this at the beginning, we could cut out all the fuss and screaming in between, but I don't think he and Mommy have picked up on that yet.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
4:30am – The house seemed awfully quiet, so I thought if I started screaming, it would liven things up. I was able to do that for about 10 minutes, but since no one was going to join me, I went back to sleep.
5:30-ish am – [repeat of activity posted at 4:30 am]
7:47am – Daddy came and woke me up. I don't understand my parents; first they force me to go to sleep, and then they wake me up. It really seems inefficient. I think I heard him mentioning something about not believing I slept in this late, since he had gotten up at 6:45 to let the dogs out and figured I would be up soon. Doesn't he know I always sleep in on Saturday? I don't have school silly!!
9:15am – We arrive at Gymboree. I don't know any of the people in this class and they are all running around quite a bit out of control. I enjoyed the slide and walking across a minibridge. Not a big fan of going under the parachute. I think I'll drop them an email about pulling that tradition from the class. I was just glad I got to get my stamps at the end.
10:15am – We now go to our second class at Gymboree. I am the only student in the class, so I decided to act a little shy. After about 10 minutes, some chick named Emily came with her mom and grandparents. I was so much cuter than her. The class was fun, but I was hinting to everyone that I wanted to leave before it was over. You would think Daddy could pick up a little better on my hints – when I walk over to the door and begin trying to pull down on the handle, it shouldn't be that hard to figure out. But then the teacher pulled out a bunch of fun things that made noise, so I decided to finish the class. I got some more stamps and a sticker.
11:45am – We finally got back to the house. Daddy heated up the leftover EJ's pizza. Not the best in the world, but I guess it will do.
12:34pm – Daddy tried to push this whole "sleep" thing again. I reluctantly went along, but I don't really have much of a choice since I still haven't figured out how to get over the railing on my bed. I'm working on it though.
3:01pm – I woke up from my nap, and decided the best thing to do was to immediately start yelling again. More times than not, someone will finally come get me. Daddy figured this out and came upstairs.
4:30pm – Daddy and me went to the mall; always an entertaining place on a Saturday. I heard Daddy talking on the phone on the way there to Uncle Christian. He said Daddy was just taking me to the mall to "pick up chicks". I'm not sure what he means by that. I thought you could get women by using puppies, but I hadn't heard about using toddlers. I guess it makes sense…have you seen how cute I am!?!?!
5:19pm – We had Chic-Fil-A at the mall. I started with the 4 piece nuggets, and followed it up with some milk through a straw. The toy in the kids meal was pretty lame. Daddy attached it to the stroller, but please - I am going to need more than that to entertain me. We did swing by the pet store. Daddy was mumbling again….something about getting a puppy to keep mommy from wanting another baby. I might have to agree with Daddy on this one. I think I'd share Mommy with a puppy….but not sure how I would feel about sharing her with another baby. I'm going to have to speak to her about that.
6:27pm – We got back from the mall and Daddy let me play in the driveway for a while.
7:10pm – Daddy finally recognized my hint that I wanted to take a bath. I turned on the water for him, threw all my toys in the tub, and started saying "bath…..bath….." Sometimes he can be a little "thick". The bath was relaxing, and I certainly enjoyed the splashing.
7:55pm – Daddy fixed himself a cocktail. He mentioned something about "needing one of those since we were getting close to bedtime." He's so silly. I was just a little surprised at the quantity of scotch he was pouring in the glass. It didn't seem to leave much room for water or ice. He said he needed that much for my "bedtime" routine. I'm going to have to mention this to Mommy.
8:04pm – Once again, Daddy was pushing the whole "sleep" thingie. I could really be more resistant if I wasn't so damn tired. I was going to go to the "noonie" card to stall a bit, but Daddy was ahead of me and had three in his hand. Dammit………he's catching on!!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
6:32am – I needed to get up and get a good start to my day. Who the heck would want to sleep in on a Sunday morning – seems like such a waste.
8:15am – After a hearty breakfast of Cheerios, fruit snacks, milk and powdered donuts, it was time to get Daddy to take me upstairs to play. I don't know why he is so restrictive on my play area boundaries. So I want to play in the scrapbook room – what's the big deal? I say "thank you" every time I pick up something I am not supposed to. Aron's video game chair is pretty cool too, you just have to watch out since the chair will fold in half. Good thing Daddy was there to keep it from smashing me. That would have been another call to CPS for sure.
9:41am – Daddy and I went to the store. Daddy was wise and let me hold his keys while I was in the cart. I could have made the time in the store much less enjoyable had he not done that. I'm glad we could come to that understanding.
10:50am – It was a little early for lunch, but we got some grapes at the store and I really wanted them. So Daddy let me have grapes, cheese and a hot dog when we got home. I watched a little Bear in the Big Blue House while I ate. I'm not sure why Mommy and Daddy make me watch that stuff. I would much rather watch Grey's Anatomy, American Justice, or a good basketball game.
11:38am – We went outside to play a little bit. A few trips on the slide, a few kicks of the basketball, and a little sitting in the driver's seat of the van. Daddy asked me if I wanted to take off my jacket. Is he insane!?!?! I know it's about 70 degrees, but this is MY JACKET. It only comes off when I say it comes off.
12:04pm – Here we go with the stupid nap tradition. How come when I rub my eyes, put my head down on my highchair, and let my eyes droop closed, Daddy jumps to the conclusion that I need a nap. I was just resting my eyes.
12:22pm – Still not asleep…..pretty good, huh?
1:57pm – I was finally able to beat the nap thing this afternoon. Daddy made a little too much noise downstairs getting ice out of the freezer and I was up.
3:00pm – My good friend Miss Stephanie came by to visit for a little bit. We had fun. I ate a ton and she let me sit in the driver's seat of her Toyota. We colored, played outside, and watched some TV. I always like it when she comes by to visit.
6:31pm – Daddy came back home and we said goodbye to Miss Stephanie. Daddy wasn't very nice to me though. He wouldn't let me have the remote control, his keys, or let me turn on the hot water in the bathtub. Miss Stephanie told him that I had been rubbing my eyes – but I think she lies.
7:50pm – I obviously still haven't trained Daddy yet….he foolishly thinks I am ready to go to bed. I can stay up all night. It's Oscar Sunday for goodness sake!!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
6:20am – I am up and ready for the day. Daddy actually didn’t kill me this weekend. Mommy would be so proud. While I have had fun with him, I am anxious to see my Mommy again.
went on her cruise to the Bahamas
– By Bailey Sharp
Friday, February 23, 2007
6:10pm – Daddy picked me up from School. It probably wouldn't have killed him to show up a little earlier. I got upset in the school late in the afternoon when Ms. Leah left our class and some weirdo stranger came in to replace her, but I played in the room across the hall and that helped. It was cookie Friday, so that always makes everything better.
6:35pm – Daddy and I got home with our pizza from EJ's. I really like pizza and ate almost an entire slice by myself. I believe we ordered the EJ's "classic". They should really think about including delivery in their business model, especially with the increased competition and market saturation in our area.
7:45pm – We went upstairs, read 2 books, and Daddy callously abandoned me in my bed. He's so mean when he tries to make me go to sleep. I am thinking of making an anonymous tip to child protective services, but I can never get Daddy to give me the real phone. He always says "no…no…." and then hands me my toy phone. Just like the way he and Mommy try and trick me with the remote control that doesn't work crap.
8:00pm - I think Daddy went back downstairs to watch the Rockets. I'm not sure why since they were losing to the Hawks on the road. C'mon Daddy….from what I saw, their perimeter defense was lacking, they were sloppy in transition, and T-Mac was the only player who brought his offensive game. I decided to scream at the top of my lungs to see if he would eventually recognize his responsibility to come sit with me until I fall asleep. I had been rubbing my eyes since 6:30, but sleep is bad, and I must try and fight it at all costs no matter what the personal sacrifice is. I think I heard Daddy saying bad words downstairs when he discovered Belle and Toby had been wrestling in the yard and Belle got "doggy poopy" all over her. Belle got a bath just like I do!! But back to the screaming.
8:25pm - After Belle's impromptu bath, I maintained my screaming at a very noticeable level, and it paid dividends. Daddy came back in my room. He tried to not actually pick me up and just comfort me, but I wasn't going to let him slide with that. He did eventually pick me up and I went to sleep on his shoulder. If he would just do this at the beginning, we could cut out all the fuss and screaming in between, but I don't think he and Mommy have picked up on that yet.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
4:30am – The house seemed awfully quiet, so I thought if I started screaming, it would liven things up. I was able to do that for about 10 minutes, but since no one was going to join me, I went back to sleep.
5:30-ish am – [repeat of activity posted at 4:30 am]
7:47am – Daddy came and woke me up. I don't understand my parents; first they force me to go to sleep, and then they wake me up. It really seems inefficient. I think I heard him mentioning something about not believing I slept in this late, since he had gotten up at 6:45 to let the dogs out and figured I would be up soon. Doesn't he know I always sleep in on Saturday? I don't have school silly!!
9:15am – We arrive at Gymboree. I don't know any of the people in this class and they are all running around quite a bit out of control. I enjoyed the slide and walking across a minibridge. Not a big fan of going under the parachute. I think I'll drop them an email about pulling that tradition from the class. I was just glad I got to get my stamps at the end.
10:15am – We now go to our second class at Gymboree. I am the only student in the class, so I decided to act a little shy. After about 10 minutes, some chick named Emily came with her mom and grandparents. I was so much cuter than her. The class was fun, but I was hinting to everyone that I wanted to leave before it was over. You would think Daddy could pick up a little better on my hints – when I walk over to the door and begin trying to pull down on the handle, it shouldn't be that hard to figure out. But then the teacher pulled out a bunch of fun things that made noise, so I decided to finish the class. I got some more stamps and a sticker.
11:45am – We finally got back to the house. Daddy heated up the leftover EJ's pizza. Not the best in the world, but I guess it will do.
12:34pm – Daddy tried to push this whole "sleep" thing again. I reluctantly went along, but I don't really have much of a choice since I still haven't figured out how to get over the railing on my bed. I'm working on it though.
3:01pm – I woke up from my nap, and decided the best thing to do was to immediately start yelling again. More times than not, someone will finally come get me. Daddy figured this out and came upstairs.
4:30pm – Daddy and me went to the mall; always an entertaining place on a Saturday. I heard Daddy talking on the phone on the way there to Uncle Christian. He said Daddy was just taking me to the mall to "pick up chicks". I'm not sure what he means by that. I thought you could get women by using puppies, but I hadn't heard about using toddlers. I guess it makes sense…have you seen how cute I am!?!?!
5:19pm – We had Chic-Fil-A at the mall. I started with the 4 piece nuggets, and followed it up with some milk through a straw. The toy in the kids meal was pretty lame. Daddy attached it to the stroller, but please - I am going to need more than that to entertain me. We did swing by the pet store. Daddy was mumbling again….something about getting a puppy to keep mommy from wanting another baby. I might have to agree with Daddy on this one. I think I'd share Mommy with a puppy….but not sure how I would feel about sharing her with another baby. I'm going to have to speak to her about that.
6:27pm – We got back from the mall and Daddy let me play in the driveway for a while.
7:10pm – Daddy finally recognized my hint that I wanted to take a bath. I turned on the water for him, threw all my toys in the tub, and started saying "bath…..bath….." Sometimes he can be a little "thick". The bath was relaxing, and I certainly enjoyed the splashing.
7:55pm – Daddy fixed himself a cocktail. He mentioned something about "needing one of those since we were getting close to bedtime." He's so silly. I was just a little surprised at the quantity of scotch he was pouring in the glass. It didn't seem to leave much room for water or ice. He said he needed that much for my "bedtime" routine. I'm going to have to mention this to Mommy.
8:04pm – Once again, Daddy was pushing the whole "sleep" thingie. I could really be more resistant if I wasn't so damn tired. I was going to go to the "noonie" card to stall a bit, but Daddy was ahead of me and had three in his hand. Dammit………he's catching on!!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
6:32am – I needed to get up and get a good start to my day. Who the heck would want to sleep in on a Sunday morning – seems like such a waste.
8:15am – After a hearty breakfast of Cheerios, fruit snacks, milk and powdered donuts, it was time to get Daddy to take me upstairs to play. I don't know why he is so restrictive on my play area boundaries. So I want to play in the scrapbook room – what's the big deal? I say "thank you" every time I pick up something I am not supposed to. Aron's video game chair is pretty cool too, you just have to watch out since the chair will fold in half. Good thing Daddy was there to keep it from smashing me. That would have been another call to CPS for sure.
9:41am – Daddy and I went to the store. Daddy was wise and let me hold his keys while I was in the cart. I could have made the time in the store much less enjoyable had he not done that. I'm glad we could come to that understanding.
10:50am – It was a little early for lunch, but we got some grapes at the store and I really wanted them. So Daddy let me have grapes, cheese and a hot dog when we got home. I watched a little Bear in the Big Blue House while I ate. I'm not sure why Mommy and Daddy make me watch that stuff. I would much rather watch Grey's Anatomy, American Justice, or a good basketball game.
11:38am – We went outside to play a little bit. A few trips on the slide, a few kicks of the basketball, and a little sitting in the driver's seat of the van. Daddy asked me if I wanted to take off my jacket. Is he insane!?!?! I know it's about 70 degrees, but this is MY JACKET. It only comes off when I say it comes off.
12:04pm – Here we go with the stupid nap tradition. How come when I rub my eyes, put my head down on my highchair, and let my eyes droop closed, Daddy jumps to the conclusion that I need a nap. I was just resting my eyes.
12:22pm – Still not asleep…..pretty good, huh?
1:57pm – I was finally able to beat the nap thing this afternoon. Daddy made a little too much noise downstairs getting ice out of the freezer and I was up.
3:00pm – My good friend Miss Stephanie came by to visit for a little bit. We had fun. I ate a ton and she let me sit in the driver's seat of her Toyota. We colored, played outside, and watched some TV. I always like it when she comes by to visit.
6:31pm – Daddy came back home and we said goodbye to Miss Stephanie. Daddy wasn't very nice to me though. He wouldn't let me have the remote control, his keys, or let me turn on the hot water in the bathtub. Miss Stephanie told him that I had been rubbing my eyes – but I think she lies.
7:50pm – I obviously still haven't trained Daddy yet….he foolishly thinks I am ready to go to bed. I can stay up all night. It's Oscar Sunday for goodness sake!!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
6:20am – I am up and ready for the day. Daddy actually didn’t kill me this weekend. Mommy would be so proud. While I have had fun with him, I am anxious to see my Mommy again.
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